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So much hatred
Hey, me Ethan — Ethan William A. Funny YouTube guy who carries too much anger-energy for his own good. Based in Australia, I come from Welsh-Italian + part Russian ethnicity (I just call myself a Welshman/European). Human embodiment of pain-turned-rage with a side of idiocy. I'm edgy, fear me.

STUFF I LIKE/HOBBIES
STUFF I LIKE; Firefighting, 80's and heavy/nu metal music, anything involving large vehicles, 4wding and offroading, cooking food (especially savory things hashbrown my fav), hunting, weightlifting and strength sports, firearms, showering (I'm not a redditor), mechanics, food, brutalism, being a dumbass, more food, pouring water bottles over my head for no reason, starting illegal fires in the backyard, among other stuff.I also like music a lot. Linkin Park, TRUSTcompany, Fear Factory, RHCP, Good Charlotte, Slipknot, Duran Duran, Papa Roach, BMTH, Skillet, I Prevail, Three Days Grace, Groundbreaking, The Funeral Portrait, INXS, Metallica, Fort Minor, She Wants Revenge, Powerman5000, MJ, Attila >>STUFF I DON'T LIKE; Needles, adults, early-internet culture, communism, drivers who don't use their FUCKING turn indicators, being hungry, seeing cars in scrapyards, tripping over air or something idk.FAVORITE ALBUMS
Meteora/M20AE, LIVING THINGS, Hybrid Theory/HT20AE, LIVING THINGS, Minutes to Midnight (LP) - The Lonely Position Of Neutral, True Parallels (TRUSTco) - Rio (Collector's Edition), Duran Duran (DD) - Californication, By The Way, I'm With You, The Getaway (RHCP) - Digimortal (FF) - 20/20, Getting Away With Murder (Paparo) - Good Morning Revival (GoodChar) - Up and Down (SWR). Chester Bennington, Bruton C. Bell, Simon Le Bon, Mike Shinoda, Anthony Kiedis, Corey Taylor, Kevin Palmer, Bernard Summer and Amy Lee are my favorite singers.(some of) MY FAVOURITE SONGS
Lil fact, my first ever favorite songs were I Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Chalotte and True Faith by New Order.

MY FAVORITE CHARACTERRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This segment covers some extremely serious topics, such as harassment, sexual abuse of children, psychological abuse, mental illness, incitement to suicide and chronic suicidal ideation. Go back if you need to.I couldn't breatheAs soon as I joined the net, I have been subjected to 4-year spanning abuse by mainly adults, as well as forcibly having my existing trauma outed (context). This situation ended up being extensively documented on my part, having the name The EVILETH4N Chronicles. The abuse is ongoing as of June 2026.1 - DETAILS OF THE ABUSE
2 - MY EVIDENCE
3 - WHERE I WENT WRONG
4 - MENTAL HEALTH NOTES
5 - CLOSINGWHY- 1. DETAILS OF THE ABUSE -
At 12, already battling H-OCD, C-PTSD and chronic SI, I defended an 11yo creator from a then 16yo YouTuber named Wixtener (then Watazuky). She retaliated by tricking me into giving her files for the Williams brothers — two of my characters based on myself and my real stepbrother — using them in a viral 70K+ views series that directly showed inappropriate themes between them, then accused me of homophobia for objecting to "her AU" and being extremely traumatized due to the sheer gravity of who these characters are to me. She resurfaced multiple times under aliases including "Kiota," each time using sockpuppet accounts to spread lies, fabricate claims, and harass me across platforms.- This was where Aiko and Senchou joined inIn early 2023 she resurfaced as "Kiot," reuploading the videos of my stolen characters and fabricating an abuse claim against her father she made for pity, later dropped after I tried to get Interpol involved as I was worried for her wellbeing despite everything. She used sockpuppet accounts to spread lies, accuse me of ableism for holding her accountable as she excused herself with autism, and obscure her identity across multiple aliases that were used to harass me (Floryia, Mei, May, etc)In May 2023 she contacted me on Discord under a fake fan account, sent an obscene "fanart," then an image she claimed involved my father — triggering a crisis I wasn't equipped to handle at 13. I made posts implying immediate suicidal crisis, that were redistributed by Wixtener's friends, and widely mocked after I failed to commit suicide.By August 2024 the abuse escalated to public sexual remarks, fabricated stories told to other minors that involved her sexually assualting me, and made CSAM drawings directly inspired by Aiko, of me being sexually assaulted by my father and referencing my self-harm history, — material illegal in many jurisdictions. She bragged about its virality, mocked my grief, and briefly used the drawing as her YouTube profile picture before privatizing everything in December 2024.She had continued her harassment and CSAM imagery in May of 2026, forcibly associating one of my favorite children-targeted shows with this content. She, Aiko and possibly others are still gang stalking me as of June 2026._________________Aiko targeted underage boys as young as 12 since early 2023, cycling through usernames while posting self-harm content, doxxing threats, and mainly targeting me and my friends. She alternated between fake apologies and renewed harassment, triggering stress migraines and isolating me as I tried to distract/help both her AND her victims, fearing she’d hurt herself or others.She began to target me specifically from there: mocking my posts, telling me to kill myself, attacking my dad, publicly fantasising about sexually assaulting me, and convincing me I “deserved” abuse, almost every single day throughout 2024. She groomed other kids to harass me and sent graphic private sexual assault threats by August 2024 — even her name caused panic for me.In September 2025, while Senchou also targeted me, Aiko wrote abusive CSAM "fanfiction” about me and my deceased father — publishing it on Sept 19, then deleting/reposting it repeatedly while threatening to “normalize” her abuse of me through her writing. She later claimed she was nearly monetarily paid for it, and wrote more CSAM content of me at Wixtener’s request — of me being sexually assaulted by her, my underage friends, and my father.The fanfictions she made of herself sexually assaulting me saw me developing Stockholm syndrome over her, which I kept private despite slowly coming to want her malicious validation because I had nobody else who loved me "like she did". I was 14-15. I'd have repeated nightmares in which [someone looking a lot like Aiko's persona] would bodily assault me, the latest of which occuring 2026.On New Year’s Day 2026, she mocked my 2025 Christmas post, then teased a new story involving me abusing my father’s corpse. After I confronted her, she called me her “son” and tried to contact me on Discord, and in Jan-Feb 2026 blackmailed me with even more CSAM production if I didn't accept private contact. In March 2025, her old friends from 2023 returned to harass me, as well as reposting the dox of one of her old victims who I initially shielded from her._________________Senchou (now Marie), claiming 14 at 13, inserted herself into a minor drama between me and another 14 year old in 2023, then targeted me with xenophobic slurs over me being Welsh/British, mocked my trauma, and allegedly shared sexual content in my minor friends’ servers as a means of "defending" the other 14 year old from my nonexistent "harassment". I tolerated her even as she told me to kill myself over Discord, the same platform I allowed her to trauma dump to me on, and returned her abusive remarks with slight teasing. She apologized the same year, I accepted — added her on Discord over art. By late 2023 she turned again. In March 2024, as "melancholicmelodies,” she mocked my dog and my dad's deaths, as well as repeating all her prior behaviours I just mentioned.As “Xatu,” 2024, she shared a degrading drawing of my character Ethan williams committing suicide (which particularly hurt given what his character is made to represent), falsely accused me of transphobia, claimed I was “hunting” her while I avoided her (and if anything it was the other way around), and in August 2024 admitted she wanted me dead, while obsessed with 4chan as Reuniclus. By May 2024, she used alts to send sexual remarks, and post shorts saying she wanted me dead. On “Serioushat4” she claimed to post gore-porn of my character on 4chan — triggering physical illness out of mental distress, then Aiko’s first fanfic hit. Senchou voiced her support, all the while ironically accusing me of being a proshipper.- Her friends joined in on attacking me — one later confronted her about all she did and cut ties. She bonded with others who hated me, mirroring her alliances with Aiko and Wixtener. On Sept 27, 2024, she posted a fake “apology” after being called out — then spent days guilt-tripping with “melancholic” posts while also mocking my self-harm, calling my defenders my “boyfriends,” and claiming she was harassed — as well as the frequent DARVO. On New Year’s Day of 2025, she faked a suicide to pressure me into deleting evidence.After harassing me until Nov 30 2025, she returned Jan 19, 2026 — called me a “homophobic twat,” attacked my best friend, lied I was an adult and her harassment ended 3 years prior (false, it was 2 months). When I called her gaslighting, she deleted her ping, doubled down, and watched my evidence updates live — like during her “Xatu” phase. Her pinned comment revealed her goal: she called me “the embodiment of a victim complex,” — then announced she’d make fanart of canon pairings between my characters, then twisting it with child-abuse language and dragging in an 11yo side-character. In 2026 she still tries to contact me on Instagram against my will, using fake apologies to force a response._________________At 14 I was extremely incoherent due to the escalating abuse, so when I expressed unwanted homophobic thoughts as a result of my abuse in August 2024, r/YouTubeDrama (via u/BananaShakeStudios) picked up on the homophobia, not fully grasping the actual abuse, and hundreds of redditors began victim blaming me as they interpreted my intrusive thoughts as plain bigotry.They said my abuse was irrelevant (although in reality it was the root issue), painted me as unforgivable, spread misinterpreted and fabricated claims, and downplayed CSAM of my character and Alexander Williams (based on a real life stepbrother) by using the excuse that they were "just OC's". When that became a leading factor in my self harm attempts, people kept ridiculing me and mocking my SI. That's not fucking funny.I released a poorly formatted video in early September after after exhausting all other options of self defense from both my abusers and this subreddit. Wixtener was allowed to speak against me on the subreddit until a moderator spoke to me privately and banned her. I was then left with an "apology" statement where u/BananaShakeStudios calls my label "victim blaming" misleading. Classic DARVO.They prioritized my homophobia, which had yet to hurt anyone, over the root issue, so yes, they did victim blame me on a MASSIVE scale, and it was a major factor in a deeper mental freefall from 2024 to January 2026. During this period, pornographic sites would falsely advertise under my name against my adament non-consent.I'LL NEVER FEEL SAFE- 2. MY EVIDENCE -
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19C6ky5YN6k
27XoSyKoZq8_wUvvKlMYroyB8f3L-gc00 (last updated May 2026)VIDEOS ON MY HARASSMENT: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxyqjJ1pXgQA4kwXQOzSdu9p1mNjOWHcJ&siI have gone to my local law enforcement, CyberTipline, organisations, and tried to get help with public disclosure since the beginning of this situation. All of my cries for help were dismissed or outright mocked. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have almost no means of getting help, and this is still going on.3- 3. WHERE I WENT WRONG -
I acted out harmfully in 2024 (14yrs old), via homophobia and retaliation against victim-blamers.As a direct result of the abuse and repeated accusations of homophobia solely for reacting negatively, I developed intrusive homophobic thoughts in 2024 — my first exposure to LGBT was sexually abusive, so I generalized. I privately drew depictions of my character, Ethan Williams burning pride flags as a means of "coping" with the sudden escalation of the bullying from r/YouTubeDrama, before I snapped out of it and realized that I'd now inflicted harm myself. I apologize for my thoughts, and for those drawings — they don't reflect my current views, and I was trying to avoid genuine homophobia from the beginning by asking for help — but I can't support the community again after the harm done to me in its name. At least, not in the present.In late 2024-early 25, I enabled people to verbally harass others (mostly adults) who mocked, victim-blamed, or joined in bullying me after they'd apologized to me for their actions — mostly private discourse I won't detail publicly. I felt a lot of remorse remorse and immense confusion at the time and blamed myself for their initial misconduct because I retaliated. I wrestle with myself a lot on this one in the present, and I both feel remorse, but also stand by myself. I was harmed first, and I feel justified in retaliating despite also literally harming myself over what I'd done on more than one occasion. If you've wronged me, and you try to contact me, verbal retaliation is my only means of defense from what I can only interpret as danger. This is what happens when you're mocked after being pushed past your limits perpetually for years. I'm not sorry, but I am..?For certain, however, I don't feel bad for being ageist toward adults. I had C-PTSD before this began, and as soon as this specific situation began I was only freshly out of environments where adults abused me from 2 years old. This harassment only reinforced my belief that all adults are bad — it was mainly adults who abused and victim-blamed me. I'm unwilling to change my views, I have all the experience to attest to it. If not all adults are bad, why do they keep proving me right?[YOU IGNORED MY SCREAMS AND DEMONIZED ME FOR THE MOST PREDICTABLE SHIT}- 4. MENTAL HEALTH NOTES -
As mentioned before, I have diagnosed situational/chemical MDD, C-PTSD and H-OCD (which is by far the worst of it), among many other symptoms. These already fuck me over daily. My numerous beforehand traumas began and persisted from when I was 2 to when I was 11, not counting anything during this situation. Naturally I was traumatized beyond what most people will ever face, and given that this online abuse was back-to-back with real-world abuse, I became confused and incoherent, especially in 2024.Because of this situation, I deal with Continuous Traumatic Stress Disorder and C-PTSD at the same time. As a child nobody guided me right, and if I made (VERY FORSEEABLE) mistakes online I was shunned down, so I stopped caring if I hurt others when they'd hurt me first.This is why predators like to target kids who are incoherent and already vulnerable like I was, as we're easier to blame or discredit. I acted out of stress, unknowingly harming my own case. That's what predators want, as it draws questions to the victims behaviour rather than their own. The saddest part is how preventable all this was.AS IF I WASN'T SHUNNED BY GOD HIMSELF- 5. CLOSING -
Summary: Me; already horribly suicidal at 7, got digitally abused at 12 using past trauma against me. I was driven to hate, hundreds failed to recognize the abuse and got mad at me for how I reacted, they turned my abuse into petty victim-blaming drama while the abuse was allowed to escalate in plain sigt. Alas, at 14 I became malicious in turn. I still haven't been able to process any of this abuse or my extensive prior trauma in the present day.I'm really not the guy who wants drama, or to be infamous, or be part of petty controversy, but this is not controversy–it's the broadcasted abuse and attempted murder of a child, by torturing him into suicide, and yet he's being blamed for reacting angrily out of perpetual trauma. I just wanna say what I want, share my stuff with those who wanna see it, and keep living my life as normally as I can despite everything. But I can't do that when everyone is apparently the victim BUT the child who was actually harmed. I'm sorry for what I've done, the warning signs were all there before the world.But hey, I'm greatful that it was me and not another child. :/LET ME DIE LIKE YOU DID BACK THEN, IT'S THE MOST HUMANE THING YOU COULD DO FOR ME ANYMOREGo back