• BACK

My name is Ethan William A, better known online as EVILETH4N (pronounced Evil Eth-fourn) or formerly as SHADYD3MON. Skinny British dude from Australia with too much anger-energy, otherwise a pure dumbass. I make stuff on YouTube.

ETHAN QUOTES FROM THE GC"I was having an entire Smash Bros™ smackdown with the bin tryna get it out""He's breaking the law of physics while still tryna break the law in every jurisdiction, I mean I respect the dedication but shit man-""HOLY SHIT GET DHAT FUCKA AWAY FROM Me""If that's how the ignition works than why does't it just start" (my last words before seeing a frying pan flying at my face at 79mp/h)"It's sucked lately, just got done licking my wall and idk something like that, every second I'm not performimg anger is every second I'm still in danger so idk what I was hoping to achieve""Okay guys, so on my count we're doing 'fuck the police' by NWA in f#. Ready?""They said I'd get hoes, I WAS PICTURING A FIRE HOSE NOT THIS-"Honourable mention: "finna pull a shuaiby aslam on these hoes 'you recording Ethan???' headass"MY FRIENDS: JETT, LILY, CHAR, JORDAN, LEXX, LUCY, NINO, ZACK

STUFF I LIKE/HOBBIES
I like firefighting, 80's and heavy/nu metal music, anything involving large vehicles (Ford Everest and Isuzu D-MAX my favs), 4wding and offroading, cooking food (especially savory things hashbrown my fav), hunting, weightlifting and strength sports, firearms, showering (I'm not a redditor), mechanics, food, brutalism, being a dumbass, more food, pouring water bottles over my head for no reason, starting illegal fires in the backyard, among other stuff.I also like music a lot. Linkin Park, TRUSTcompany, Fear Factory, RHCP, Good Charlotte, Slipknot, Duran Duran, Papa Roach, BMTH, Skillet, I Prevail, Three Days Grace, Groundbreaking, The Funeral Portrait, INXS, Metallica, Fort Minor, She Wants Revenge, Powerman5000, MJ, Attila >>STUFF I DON'T LIKE; Needles, adults, early-internet culture, communism, drivers who don't use their FUCKING turn indicators, being hungry, tripping over air or something idk.FAVORITE ALBUMS
Meteora/M20AE, LIVING THINGS, Hybrid Theory/HT20AE, LIVING THINGS, Minutes to Midnight (LP) - The Lonely Position Of Neutral, True Parallels (TRUSTco) - Rio, Duran Duran (DD) - Californication, By The Way, I'm With You, The Getaway (RHCP) - Digimortal (FF) - 20/20, Getting Away With Murder (Paparo) - Good Morning Revival (GoodChar) - Fallen, The Open Door (Evanescence) - Up and Down (SWR)Bruton C. Bell, Simon Le Bon, Mike Shinoda, Anthony Kiedis, Chester Bennington, Kevin Palmer and Amy Lee are my favorite singers.(some of) MY FAVOURITE SONGS
(Check out my playlist bro)
Fun fact, my first ever favorite song was I Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Chalotte.

THE PERSONA OF EVILETH4N - ETHAN R. WILLIAMSEthan Ryan Williams, born as Итан Райан Уильямс is a character I created to reflect myself in 2019, when I would have been 9 years old. He reflects my beliefs, my struggles and reflects my own mental illnesses, specifically H-OCD, C-PTSD and prolonged SI, which I use Ethan to write stories about and want to provide better representation for. Ethan represents me in all of my content, including my rant videos, which started in mid 2021, and has since become the entire icon of SHADYD3MON, and eventually the main focus of SHADYD3MOS-0; the aforementioned story.He was originally gonna be named Ettano Chevrondo.Ethan in his canon universe of SHADYD3MOS-0 is a firefighter, working in Barrkon, Alaska, alongside his colleagues whom he continues work with even after some pretty horrible tyrranies he caused due to going untreated for so long. Ethan is the station's chef, providing and hunting for food to keep his teammates energized, although often fumbled..Outside of his uncontrollable anger and poor impulse control, Ethan does have a genuine sense of care for those around him, although clueless and confused when he doesn't feel angry, which often leads to a lot of generally idiotic and clueless behaviour despite his chronic hypervigilance.His depiction on my main channel, which canonically he has no knowledge of, is otherwise the same as his canon self, just overall toned down. He was originally based on Elvis Cridlington (Fireman Sam franchise).You can find more info on the character here

FAVORITE CHARACTERRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

This segment covers some extremely serious topics, such as child sexual abuse, psychological abuse, mental illness, incitement to suicide and chronic suicidal ideation. Go back if you need to.1 - SUMMARY
2 - THE MAIN SITUATION
3 - MY EVIDENCE
4- WHERE I WENT WRONG
5 - MENTAL HEALTH NOTES
6 - CLOSING1. A SUMMARY OF THE ABUSE
As soon as I joined the net, I have been subjected to 4-year spanning abuse by mainly adults, as well as forcibly having my existing trauma outed (context). This situation ended up having the name The EVILETH4N Chronicles, and is ongoing as of April 2026. This abuse included:Adult women sexually harassing me as a minor, mocking my fathers passing in grotesque ways, creating CSAM of me engaging in non-consentual acts with my deceased father as well as themselves and a character resembling my stepbrother, degrading my characters and me in general, reputational abuse and forcibly tying my name to porn sites, constantly threatening/blackmailing me by creating more and more CSAM of me, forcing political ideology and LGBT onto me in sexualized ways, then claiming I was homophobic for reacting negatively while hiding behind identity politics.2. THE MAIN SITUATION
At twelve, already battling H-OCD, C-PTSD and chronic SI, I defended an 11yo creator from a sixteen-year-old YouTuber named Wixtener (then Watazuky). She retaliated by tricking me into giving her files for the Williams brothers — two of my characters based on myself and my real stepbrother — using them in a viral 70K+ views series that directly showed inappropriate themes between them, then accused me of homophobia for objecting to "her AU" and being extremely traumatized due to the sheer gravity of who these characters are to me.She resurfaced multiple times under aliases including "Kiota," each time using sockpuppet accounts to spread lies, fabricate claims, and harass me across platforms.- This was where Aiko and Senchou joined inIn early 2023 she resurfaced as "Kiot," reuploading the videos of my stolen characters and fabricating an abuse claim against her father she made for pity, later dropped after I tried to get Interpol involved as I was worried for her wellbeing despite everything. She used sockpuppet accounts to spread lies, accuse me of ableism for holding her accountable as she excused herself with autism, and obscure her identity across multiple aliases that were used to harass me (Floryia, Mei, May, etc)In May 2023 she contacted me on Discord under a fake fan account, sent an obscene "fanart," then an image she claimed involved my father — triggering a crisis I wasn't equipped to handle at 13. I made posts implying immediate suicidal crisis, that were redistributed by Wixtener's friends, and widely mocked after I failed to commit suicide.By August 2024 the abuse escalated to public sexual remarks, fabricated stories told to other minors that involved her sexually assualting me, and made CSAM drawings directly inspired by Aiko, of me being sexually assaulted by my father and referencing my self-harm history, — material illegal in many jurisdictions. She bragged about its virality, mocked my grief, and briefly used the drawing as her YouTube profile picture before privatizing everything in December 2024._________________Aiko targeted underage boys as young as 12 since early 2023, cycling through usernames while posting self-harm content, doxxing threats, and mainly targeting me and my friends. She alternated between fake apologies and renewed harassment, triggering stress migraines and isolating me as I tried to distract/help her, fearing she’d hurt herself or others.She began to target me specifically from there: mocking my posts, telling me to kill myself, attacking my dad, and convincing me I “deserved” abuse, almost every single day throughout 2024. She groomed other kids to harass me and sent graphic private threats by August 2024 — even her name caused panic.In September 2025, while Senchou also targeted me, Aiko wrote abusive CSAM "fanfiction” about me and my deceased father — publishing it on Sept 19, then deleting/reposting it while threatening to “normalize” the abuse. She later claimed she was nearly monetarily paid for it, and wrote more at Wixtener’s request, of me being sexually assaulted by her and my minor friends.The fanfictions she made of herself sexually assaulting me saw me developing Stockholm syndrome over her, which I kept private, despite slowly coming to want her malicious validation because I had nobody else who loved me "like she did". I was 14-15.On New Year’s Day 2026, she mocked my Christmas post, then teased a new story involving me abusing my father’s corpse. After I confronted her, she called me her “son” and tried to contact me on Discord, and in Jan-Feb 2026 blackmailed me with even more CSAM production if I didn't accept private contact. In March 2025, her old friends from 2023 returned to harass me, as well as reposting the dox of one of her victims.
_________________Senchou (now Marie), claiming 14 at 13, inserted herself into a minor drama between me and another 14 year old in 2023, then targeted me with xenophobic slurs, mocked my trauma, and allegedly shared sexual content in my minor friends’ servers as a means of "defending" the other 14 year old from my nonexistent "harassment". I tolerated her even as she told me to kill myself over Discord, the same platform I allowed her to trauma dump to me on, and returned her abusive remarks with slight teasing. She apologized the same year, I accepted — added her on Discord over art. By late 2023 she turned again. In March 2024, as "melancholicmelodies,” she mocked my dog and my dad's deaths, as well as all the behaviour I just mentioned.As “Xatu,” 2024, she shared a degrading drawing of my character Ethan williams committing suicide (which particularly hurt given what his character is made to represent), falsely accused me of transphobia, claimed I was “hunting” her while I avoided her (and if anything it was the other way around), and in August 2024 admitted she wanted me dead, while obsessed with 4chan as Reuniclus.By May 2024, she used alts to send sexual remarks, and post shorts saying she wanted me dead. On “Serioushat4” she claimed to post gore-porn of my character on 4chan — triggering physical illness out of mental distress, then Aiko’s first fanfic hit.- Her friends joined in, attacking me — one later confronted her. She bonded with others who hated me, mirroring her alliances with Aiko and Wixtener.On Sept 27, 2024, she posted a fake “apology” after being called out — then spent days guilt-tripping with “melancholic” posts while also mocking my self-harm, calling my defenders my “boyfriends,” and claiming she was harassed — as well as the frequent DARVO. On New Year’s Day of 2025, she faked a suicide to pressure me into deleting evidence.After harassing me until Nov 30 2025, she returned Jan 19, 2026 — called me a “homophobic twat,” attacked my best friend, lied I was an adult and her harassment ended 3 years prior (false, it was 2 months). When I called her gaslighting, she deleted her ping, doubled down, and watched my evidence updates live — like during her “Xatu” phase. Her pinned comment revealed her goal: she called me “the embodiment of a victim complex,” — then announced she’d make fanart of my characters Ethan and Florence Williams, twisting it with child-abuse language and dragging in my 11yo side-character. She still tries to contact me on Instagram against my will, using fake apologies to force a response.
_________________At 14 I was extremely incoherent due to the escalating abuse, so when I expressed unwanted homophobic thoughts as a result of my abuse in August 2024, r/YouTubeDrama (via u/BananaShakeStudios) picked up on the homophobia, not fully grasping the actual abuse, and hundreds of redditors began victim blaming me as they interpreted my intrusive thoughts as plain bigotry.They said my abuse was irrelevant (although in reality it was the root issue), painted me as unforgivable, spread misinterpreted and fabricated claims, and downplayed CSAM of my character and Alexander Williams (based on a real life stepbrother) by using the excuse that they were "just OC's". When that became a leading factor in my self harm attempts, people kept ridiculing me and mocking my SI.I released a poorly formatted video in early September after after exhausting all other options of self defense from both my abusers and this subreddit. Wixtener was allowed to speak against me on the subreddit until a moderator spoke to me privately and banned her. I was then left with an "apology" statement where u/BananaShakeStudios calls my label "victim blaming" misleading. Classic DARVO.They prioritized my homophobia, which had yet to hurt anyone, over the root issue, so yes, they did victim blame me on a MASSIVE scale, and it was a major factor in a deeper mental freefall from 2024 to January 2026.
_________________These are the biggest examples of my abuse, but it's just the tip of the iceberg compared to the wider scale of the harassment campaigns and the cybersmearing I faced, such as my name being forcibly tied to porn no matter how adament I am on my lack of consent.I have gone to my local law enforcement, CyberTipline, organisations, and tried to get help with public disclosure since the beginning of this situation. All of my cries for help were dismissed or outright mocked. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have almost no means of getting help, and this is still going on.3. MY EVIDENCE
https://docs.google.com/document/d/19C6ky5YN6k
27XoSyKoZq8_wUvvKlMYroyB8f3L-gc00 (last updated Feb 2026)VIDEOS ON MY HARASSMENT: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxyqjJ1pXgQA4kwXQOzSdu9p1mNjOWHcJ&si4. WHERE I WENT WRONG
As a direct result of the abuse and repeated accusations of homophobia solely for reacting negatively, I developed intrusive homophobic thoughts in 2024 — my first exposure to LGBT was sexually abusive, so I generalized. I asked the LGBT community of my audience for advice publicly, which led to relentless bullying and victim-blaming on r/YouTubeDrama; they mocked my self-harm and called me a suicide baiter. I privately drew depictions of my character, Ethan Williams acting in symbolic homophobic ways (burning pride flags) as a means of coping with the sudden escalation of the bullying, before I snapped out of it and realized that I'd now inflicted harm myself. I apologize for my thoughts, and for those drawings — they don't reflect my current views, and I was trying to avoid genuine homophobia from the beginning by asking for help — but I won't support the community again after the harm done in its name, and plan to respond to r/YouTubeDrama in video format.I verbally harassed people who mocked, victim-blamed, or joined in bullying me after apologizing — mostly private discourse I won't detail publicly. It was wrong. However, I'd be lying if I said I feel any remorse, as I was harmed first to an extreme extent and I feel justified regardless. After the r/YouTubeDrama situation, I kept going after BananaShakeStudios for over a week out of unbearable anger. I understand it was wrong, but he still had it coming. And look, that's not to say I wish my own circumstances on them — God no, if anything I'm thankful I didn't subject them to the harm they perpetrated on me. I understand it's unethical to fight fire with fire, but whether it's right or not, I stand by myself. They provoked me.I don't feel bad for being ageist toward adults; I had C-PTSD before this began, and as soon as this began I was only freshly out of environments where adults abused me from 2 years old. This harassment only reinforced my belief that all adults are bad — it was mainly adults who abused and victim-blamed me. I'm unwilling to change my views, I have all the experience to attest to it. If not all adults are bad, why do they keep proving me right?5. MENTAL HEALTH NOTES
As mentioned before, I have diagnosed situational/chemical MDD, C-PTSD and H-OCD (which is by far the worst of it), among many other symptoms; drug controlled AuDHD, chronic SI since 7, insomnia, anmesia, etc. I need you need to understand, these already fuck me over daily. My numerous beforehand traumas began and persisted from when I was 2 to when I was 11, not counting anything during this situation. Naturally I was traumatized beyond what most people will ever face, and given that this online abuse was back-to-back with IRL abuse, I became confused and incoherent, especially in 2024. I was hard to understand, reacted instinctively without thinking, and my poor communication only brought on more problems.Because of this situation, I deal with Continuous Traumatic Stress Disorder and C-PTSD at the same time.This is why predators like to target kids who are incoherent and already vulnerable like I was, as we're easier to blame or discredit. I acted out of stress, unknowingly harming my own case. That's what predators want, as it draws questions to the victims behaviour rather than their own.6. CLOSING
Me; already horribly suicidal at 7, got digitally abused at 12 using past trauma against me. I was driven to hate and extreme reactions. Others failed to recognize the abuse and got mad at me for how I reacted, they turned my abuse into petty victim-blaming drama, and I still haven't been able to process any of this abuse or my extensive prior trauma in the present day.I'm really not the guy who wants drama, or to be infamous, or be part of petty controversy, but this is not controversy–it's the broadcasted abuse and attempted murder of a child, by torturing him into suicide, and yet he's being blamed for reacting angrily out of perpetual trauma. I just wanna say what I want, share my stuff with those who wanna see it, and keep living my life as normally as I can despite everything. But I can't do that when everyone is apparently the victim BUT the child who was actually harmed. I'm sorry for what I've done, but I'm not sorry for those who provoked me to do this.But hey, I'm greatful that it was me and not another child. :/ Go backPS: Don't apologize to me if you've wronged me during this situation. It's not that I don’t want to hear you out, it's that all apologies do for me is bring back old harm, and therefore, further anger me. Besides, I've been through so much psychological abuse in general to the point I've lost the mental capacity to understand when someone apologizes to me, or even see me as a human with feelings that matter.While closure would be relieving, I do not want it. If I want to pretend that I'm going to be okay or blame myself for the abuse and mistreatment, let me do so. It's easier than sitting with what you've done, and it's the only way I can try to move forward, as I have no other means of coping besides violence, and have spent years trying to get the help I need to no avail.

Note that none of my prior trauma was ever treated, processed or even handled properly at all before this case of abuse abuse began, and both my real life and online trauma loops were directly back-to-back. I was being treated as a problem back then, and was dissociating while the online abuse was beginning. My past has already been put on blast by my abusers, so I don't have much to lose by adding here as early context.Really, I don't think I have anything left to lose.Go back

ETHAN QUOTES FROM THE GC“I'm high enough without the drugs, that shit in my brain got me coked up the back'a ma skull”"I was having an entire Smash Bros™ smackdown with the bin tryna get shi out""He's breaking the law of physics while still tryna break the law in every judistriction, I mean I respect the dedication but shit man-""HOLY SHIT GET DHAT FUCKA AWAY FROM Me""If that's how the ignition works than why does't it just start" (my last words before seeing a frying pan flying at my face at 79mp/h)"Next time I see them I'm unleashing the 4th Reich""It's sucked lately, just got done licking my wall and idk something like that""Okay guys, so on my count we're doing 'fuck the police' by NWA in f#. Ready?""They said I'd get hoes, I WAS PICTURING A FIRE HOSE NOT THIS-"Honourable mention: "finna pull a shuaiby aslam on these hoes 'you recording Ethan???' headass"MY FRIENDS: JETT, LILY, CHAR, JORDAN, LEXX, LUCY, NINO, ZACK